The baby's room

We started getting our baby room together. We were told to prepare and act like you are pregnant. It's kind of strange to be getting ready when we don't even know when we will have a baby. We have faith in Heavenly Father that if we prepare, he will fill our house with children. We started a registry with Target. When adopting, we just don't know what gender we might have. Plus, if a birth mom does choose us and we make it to the birth of the baby, she could decide that she actually wants to keep it - and if we had planned and decorated for a specific gender, it could turn out we don't get that one. It's different. Brandon & I are grateful for the love we have been shown from our friends and especially our family. It doesn't feel real that we are so much closer to having a family of our own. My mom is going to paint the baby's room on Monday - I am so excited!!! It's going to be a lighter green and brown. I will post pictures as soon the painting is complete.

All of our references have sent in their packets of information. Now we are hoping that in the first few weeks of January, we will have our first meeting with our LDSFS representative. I can't wait! I know I said we were going to take this process slow and enjoy it, but I have waited for 7 years and I don't want to wait anymore. We feel so blessed with everything that we have. We have enjoyed our time together and have grown closer through all of our trials, but all I have ever wanted was to be a mother. I wondered, in the past, why Heavenly Father wouldn't make this easy for me. He knows my hearts desires and I have pleaded with him in prayer to lift this burden. So many tears and at times I felt my heart was going to break. Lately I have felt that these trials were for a reason (aren't they always though) - maybe we need to experience these things to make us stronger for bigger trials yet to come, or maybe so that we can see the blessings in our life more clearly. I know that when I am struggling, I start to look at my blessings in a new light, the smaller details become more important in our lives. I am grateful for all the small things. My husband is amazing. Whenever he just gently grabs my hand and holds it when a pregnant woman walks by, no words need to be said, he just does that small thing and I don't feel so alone. Please continue to pray for us - we feel your prayers and support. We are thankful for the love we are shown and again, we look forward to sharing this journey with you all.

And it begins...

We told all of our family and they are all very excited. We are thrilled to get everything going. All of our references have gotten their paperwork and are mailing it in ASAP. Then we wait until LDSFS calls us to do a home interview.

The beginning...

Brandon and I recently decided to put in our paperwork for an adoption with LDS Family Services (LDSFS). This hasn't been a decision that we just decided on a whim. We had thought about it two years ago, but it did not feel like the right time. We have been trying to get pregnant for 7 years now. The reasons are various why it didn't work out, but I was recently told by my doctor that we can get pregnant, but for some reason I am not. Who knows if it is stress or whatever, all we know is that we are ready to start our family. We decided not to go through all the different procedures people can go through to conceive such as pills, shots, invitro, etc. Anyone that knows me, knows I don't do very well with doctors, I am amazed I have gotten this far - I applaud those that can go through that, but I KNOW I don't have the strength in me at this moment to go through the physical and emotional stress that would cause. Maybe further down the road, but for now, we have made another decision.

We had always wanted to adopt at least one or two children regardless if we couldn't have our "own". A few weeks ago Brandon told me, "who says our first can't be adopted, whether we have them or adopt them, we will be a family." How lucky am I, to have a husband as amazing as he is, he makes all my dreams come true.

We are starting this blog to help those around us understand what we are going through, why we are doing what we are doing and maybe educate others on the adoption process. Brandon & I are very private people, but we look forward to sharing this experience with all of our friends and family - with an added bonus of a beautiful baby in the end! I want our children to know that we love them and we tried so hard to bring them into our lives. We plan to take this journey slowly. We are making the conscience decision to enjoy every step. I know at times it will feel difficult, but I am an optimist.

After we spoke with LDSFS, we received our paperwork and mailed it in about a week ago. We gave them a list of references and now we wait until they have all mailed in their letters, plus most importantly, our Bishop has to mail in a letter verifying our activity in the church and that we are Temple worthy. So that is where we are right now, then we will do an interview in our home with a representative from LDSFS - mainly to verify that we didn't lie or anything on our application. Oh yeah, and we still need to tell our families. The only ones that know right now are the people we put down as references on our application. We plan to tell our families at Christmas. I am so excited & nervous. We pray all goes well in this process. We feel blessed where we are at and look forward to many more blessings to come.